He moved my soul to seek him, seeking me

So often we talk about our journeys of faith, our searching for God, our questioning – or our denial – of God as if we had control of God’s place in our lives.  A modest hymn found in The Hymnal 1982 at number 689, I sought the Lord, suggests otherwise.  The anonymous 19^th century text is a gentle reminder that God makes the first move.

 I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew

he moved my soul to seek him, seeking me;

It was not I that found, O Savior true; no, I was found of thee.

My favorite images are of doors and windows.  I find myself often standing before a beautiful doorway or gate to behold its sense of invitation into another world.  Perhaps I read The Secret Garden once too often as a girl, but there is comfort to be found even in just the desire to be in that protected place.  To be in that place where God’s hand enfolds my own.

 Thou didst reach forth thy hand and mine enfold;

I walked and sank not on the storm-vexed sea;

‘twas not so much that I on thee took hold, as thou, dear Lord, on me.

The windows and doors have to be open though.  It’s not a case of claustrophobia but rather a desire to be in a protected place that is still open to the world.  We delude ourselves when we think we control anything, even when we’re inside the door or gateway.  God asks us to be open, to let the world in, and to accept his love, which is there whether or not we know it to be our heart’s desire.

 I find, I walk, I love, but oh,

 the whole of love is but my answer, Lord to thee;

for thou wert long beforehand with my soul, always thou lovedst me.